3:33am Colorado Reverence – 2017


Have you ever been in a situation where you have to be forced out of something..ie relationship?? Yeah that’s me,, when I say I’m in “it”; well got damn it. I literally accept all meanings of the words. Like am I wrong for that? I don’t think I’m the only one here who can say if you put in over 3 years, you shouldn’t fix it? The grass is not always greener on the other side. Well 2016, was a year of owning up to my TRUTH. I visited my mom’s native country of South Korea and it was an experience; I now understand this year 2017. Sometimes you have to just stop, breathe, and see things for what they truly are. Con artists come in many disguises but your intuition always lets you know. The issue boils down to understanding what the signs mean. For example butterflies aren’t always a good feeling, a lack of chemistry is a big red flag, and so on! We all have an agenda lets just be real okay..the thing is to have matching agenda’s and then seek out the intolerances.

I’m not saying anything new that you have not read or heard before. One thing I can offer is telling you about my year so far. In a nut shell – I trusted God. Yeah cliche but this is true for me. Fall of 2016, I decided to listen to my intuition: remove my ex-boyfriend from my house and trust in my prayer requests to be answered. Well it did..God gave me a way to pay off my car in full, means for living on my own, being honest in the man i want, and go in my spiritual direction without feeling shame. I’m a highly intuitive, psychic, medium, blah blah blah whatever verbiage you like — FEEL FREE — to insert. I always have been, my problem was just listening to it! I dance to the sound of my own drummer.   I’m a TAURUS!! End of rant

 

Jan of 2017, we went our separate ways, and it was hard. I’m talking.. to completely give yourself over to God is not an easy thing. Worries, disbelief, fears, etc all pop up. The mighty “you’re a fool” comes to mind. As soon as I heard that thought, my heart jumped into gear and Sanctified my new found Sanity. Yes, you go heart..show these negative thoughts whose boss! I’ll never go back to the “whoever” I was prior. I’m faithful in my trust in Jesus and that’s it. Erasing 5 years of someone is not as easy as you think. I’ve been amazed at how all of my prayers from that one day at work, has been instantly manifesting without my knowledge. “I know there is a plan out there, a man for me, a life of “milk & honey”, these are many things you hear people say. It’s become so “PART OF” the cultural lingo that we discard its true honesty. I do see the milk and honey life for myself with each month that has been going by. I’m still shocked as I stated prior how all of my “LUXURIES” are just that: Luxuries. That I want to see from God’s eyes: increase it 10 fold, live joyfully, and help others along the way if feasible. Lets continue to be real: you can’t help someone if your in the process of helping your own self. Of course you can give your advice from your experience but no matter what; its always up to the other person’s discretion or filters. I can’t stand being put in situations, conversations, where someone makes me feel since I said “Sorry, I can’t help you” that I’m in the wrong. Don’t make me feel inadequate, selfish, or judgmental to you’re moments. I truly wish I could help and I’m empathetic to you’re situations. Listen I would love to help everyone but I honestly can’t. You truly don’t get how that makes someone feel internally. The emotion just sits their like fog, like being honest is not enough, and my reasons.. (INSERT VIOLIN)

I prayed, cried, exhausted all my circular resources, and followed through on what guidance i was being given. This is how I came to be where I am today and it should be the same for you. I help people freely, its like breathing air, but only when I can. This will always be the truth.

Don’t we all think sometimes “If, my money wasn’t tied up, trust me I’d help you right now”! So my “feeling bad” for saying “I can’t help you” days are over. I feel like that a lot because I have bills to pay each week..crazy but its my life. Financial advisors always state you should have at least one week free of bills-so you can SAVE “that check”! Very good advise and something we all need to be checking into. We all have a story, I’m not sure why we meet the people we do, but what are we teaching and showing? No matter where we go, who we are, were always being watched as role models for a lack of better words. Dependency is a hard drug to give up and once you notice it..trust me please stop it at its source. I am an independent person who became accustomed to the need of another’s bull shit. Con artists come in many forms: especially once they know your true potential. Then the dimming of natural ordnance happens, you loose yourself, its all about their needs/wants, and none of you. You then start saying “what have you brought to the table? If my recollection serves me right.. I do this and that!” I want my stuff I paid for back!” Nonsince. But you become the (INSERT VIOLIN) feeling that sits there like fog. Once I became aware, I cannot, will not, turn a blind eye to it ever again. Its so gratifying to be able to rely on yourself first and if something serious happens then go outside for help.

 

My steps are: prayer, wait, act, and praise. 2016-2017 I’ve visted: South Korea, Alaska, Key West, the Boston Area, and Colorado. I’m thankful for all of the people who’ve come & gone in my life. My goals haven’t changed but more so I’ve been given an upgraded vision of them. Which I accept fully and I am excited to share this with my partner soon. Which Next is a relationship search! I trust that this lovely man is already in the palm of my hands, we’re best friends, and I just have to release fear. Good thing God has him close to me so he can help me with that part😍

 

Thanks For Reading Everyone and feel free to offer advice, comments, etc below

BLESSINGS TO YOU!

 

 

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